Change that makes “cents” in God’s “economy.”
I love to listen to Jon Coursen, Searchlight Ministries. “He” was teaching us this morning at our breakfast devotions in 1 Kings about The Heart. In so many words he came up with this:
God will change my heart,
When I change my mind.
God will not change my heart,
If I don’t change my mind.
It’s back to that “free will” that he gave us, it just keeps getting us into trouble. The choices that we make can bring “life” or “pain & destruction.” Wow, does that sound harsh?
King David lived wholehearted. He was an imperfect man but, he was “all in” when it came to who God was and His place in David’s heart. I guess God can work with that. As for Saul & Solomon, God could only be effective with those who will devote their hearts to him. I think that He can use the percentage that we give Him but, He wants all of us…and as we ignore His prompting for life, we are eroding the connection to where and what He has for us.
Change comes with an exchange, prompted by your heart & soul, by changing your mind, and completed by God with a change of the heart. That is the hope that brings life.
A whole heart is priceless and is attainable in God’s economy.
What do you want to exchange, for change?

What is ‘Transformational Coaching’ to me?
It is my desire to ask good questions in order to release people, teams, and organizations to function at their greatest possible level of gifting…allowing them to give and live with authenticity, grace, and power.

Are you or your team ready for a change…The next change?
Moving from Safety of the Known(Past Success of the Now), to the possible Exponential Success of the Future(what is Unknown Now) requires a leap. This maybe blind and/or awkward, it still requires us to step off and to let go.
Fear can keep us from moving into a more fulfilling authentic role or a team that is a cohesive unit that anticipates, communicates, and executes effectively for an ever changing business environment. You just might be ready for coaching.

The caterpillar is very successful during this stage, but it is incapable flying…it must grow and be transformed to something completely different to fly.

In and Out of the Dark.
Moving from the known to the unknown is like walking into a completely dark room, you have never been in before, and now trying to get to the other side. Our senses are heighten as we now follow what we can only see blurred by the light and the shadows from the door…till we have reached the edge…arms out or down, hoping not to trip, bump, or walk into something, trying to reach the unseen destination. We are cautious in our movement in hopes not to hurt ourselves or others. At some point, we have released control. We have hope for what is ahead. It is a desire for something more, something better, something complete. In the dark feels weak, the unknown plays on our fears.
Have you had this experience? Did it end well? How did you feel when you got to the other side? If you had someone with you, how would it be different…even if they hadn’t been there before, would it still be different?
To have someone brings comfort and more hope in the journey to the “other side”. Sometimes the struggle and not knowing brings us to a new and wonderful place, beyond what we had hoped for. Not a step by step, put the furniture together puzzle…what turns out is functional but not original, not honored/valued.
Find a coach for your journeys. They can help bring light, encouragement, and comfort to an seemingly insurmountable goal/hope/desire.
More than light at the end…an original masterpiece.


  1. Pre-contemplation: Being stuck; not seeing the need to make a change.
  2. Contemplation: Being ambivalent about change; still discovering reasons to change, the problem is becoming uncomfortable.
  3. Preparation: Being motivated to change; looking toe ways to so it, asking for ideas and help; still wanting to do it yourself.
  4. Action: Taking steps to change; setting goals and having acceptability to achieve them. Giving up control to God and others.
  5. Maintenance: Sustaining the change; preventing relapse, experiencing the rewards of change, keeping commitments to recovery, reaching out to others.
  6. Relapse: Testing the new change; starting over without getting stuck; renewing deternination and resuming maintenance. Learning from the experience.


So we are all changing, in the process of change, or firmly stuck…Where are you?

Loss of Heart

stephencarter  —  November 7, 2015 — Leave a comment

What has you stuck, obsessed, or out of focus?

“While I was in love I was the happiest man on earth; but no one can love who has no heart, and so I am resolved to ask Oz to give me one.” Tin Man, The Wizard of Oz

The Sea Lion ~ John Eldridge, From The Journey of Desire

Once upon a time here lived a sea lion who had lost the sea. He lived in a country known as the barren lands. High on a plateau, far from any coast, it was a place so dry and dusty that it could only be called a desert. A kind of course grass grew in patches here and there, and a few trees were scattered across the horizon. But mostly, it was dust. And sometimes the wind, which together made one very thirsty. Of course, it must seem strange to you that such a beautiful creature should wind up in a desert at all. He was, mind you, a sea lion. But things like this do happen.

How the sea lion came to the barren lands, no one could remember. It all seemed so very long ago, in fact, it appeared as though he had always been there. Not that he belonged in such an arid place. How could that be? He was, after all, a sea lion. But as you know, once you have lived so long in a certain spot, no matter how odd, you come to think of it as home.

There was a time, many years back, when the sea lion knew he was lost. In those days, he would stop every traveler he met to see if he might help him find his way back to the sea. But no one seemed to know the way.

On he searched, but never finding. After years without success, the sea lion took refuge beneath a solitary tree beside a very small water hole. The tree provided refuge from the burning rays of the sun., which was very fierce in that place. And the water hole, though small and muddy, was wet, in its own way. Here he settled down and got on as best he could. Had you journeyed in those days through the barren lands, you might have seen the sea lion for your self. Quite often in the evening, he would go and sit upon his favourite rock, a very large boulder, which lifted him off the burning sand and allowed him a view of the entire country.

There he would remain for hours into the night, silhouetted against the sky. And on the best of nights, when the wind shifted to the east, a faint smell of salt air would come to him on the breeze. Then he would close his eyes and imagine himself once more at the sea. When he lay himself down to sleep, he would dream of a vast, deep ocean. Twisting and turning, diving and twirling, he would swim and swim. When he woke, he thought he heard the sound of breakers…..

The sea was calling to him.

The sea lion loved his rock, and he even loved waiting night after night for the sea breezes that might come. Especially he loved the dreams those memories would stir. But as you well kn
ow, even the best of dreams cannot go on, and in the morning when the sea lion woke, he was still in the barren lands. Sometimes he would close his eyes and try to fall back asleep. It never seemed to work, for the sun was always very bright.

Eventually, it became too much for him to bear. he began to visit his rock only on occasion. “I have too much too do,” he told himself. “I cannot waste my time just idling about.” He really did not have so much to do. The truth of it was, waking so far from home was such a disappointment, he did not want to have those wonderful dreams anymore. The day finally came when he stopped going to his rock altogether, and he no longer lifted his nose to the wind when the sea breezes blew.

The sea lion was not entirely alone in those parts. for it was there he met the tortoise. Now this tortoise was an ancient creature, so weathered by his life in the barren lands that at first, the sea lion mistook him for a rock. He told the tortoise of his plight, hoping that this wise one might be able to help him. “Perhaps,” the tortoise mused, “this is the sea.” His eyes appeared to be shut against the bright sun, but he was watching the sea lion very closely. The sea lion swept his flippers once against his side, gliding to end of the water hole and back. “I don’t know,” he said. “it isn’t very deep.” “Isn’t it?” “Somehow, I thought the sea would be broader , deeper. At least, I hoped so.”

“You must learn to be happy here,” the tortoise told him one day. “For it is unlikely you shall ever find this sea of yours.” Deep in his old shriveled heart, the tortoise envied the sea lion and his sea. “But I belong the sea. We are made for each other.”

“Perhaps. But you have been gone so long now, the sea has probably forgotten you.”This thought had never occurred to the sea lion. But it was true, he had been gone for a long, long time. “If this is not my home, how can I ever feel at home here?” the sea lion asked. “You will, in time.” The tortoise appeared to be squinting, his eyes a thin slit. “I have seen the sea, and it is no better than what you have found here.” “You have seen the sea!” “yes. Come closer,” whispered the tortoise, “and I will tel you a secret. I am not a tortoise. I am a sea turtle. But I left the sea of my own accord, many years ago, in search of better things. If you stay with me, I will tell you stories of my adventures.”

The stories of the ancient tortoise were enchanting and soon cast their spell upon the sea lion. As weeks passed into months, his memory of the sea faded. “The desert,” whispered the tortoise, “is all that is, or was, or will ever be.” When the sun grew fierce and burned his skin, the sea lion would hide in the shade of the tree, listening to the tales woven by the tortoise. When the dry winds cracked his flippers and filled his eyes with dust, the sea lion would retreat to the water hole. And so the sea lion remained, living his days between water hole and tree.

The sea no longer filled his dreams.

It was that May that the winds began to blow. The sea lion had grown used to the wind, and at first he did mot pay much heed at all. Years of desert life had taught him to turn his back in the direction from which the wind came and cover his eyes with his flippers, so that the dust would not get in. Eventually the winds would always pass. But not this time. Day and night it came, howling across the barren lands. There was nothing to stop its fury, nothing to even slow it down. For forty days and forty nights the wind blew. And then, just as suddenly as it begun, it stopped. The sea lion lifted himself to have a look around. He could hardly believe his eyes.

Every single leaf had been stripped from his tree. The branches that had remained, with only a twig or two upon them, looked like an old scarecrow. And I do not need to tell you that there was no longer any shade in which to hide. But worse than this, much worse indeed, was what the sea lion saw next. The water hole was completely dry.

Three weeks after the wind ceased to blow, the sea lion had a dream. Now, as I told you before, there were nights in which he had dreamed of the sea. But those were long ago and nearly forgotten. Even still, the ocean that filled his dreams this night was so beautiful and clear, so vast and deep, it was as if he was seeing it for the very first time. The sunlight glittered on its surface, and as he dived, the waters all around him shone like an emerald. I he swam quite deep, it turned to jade, cool dark and mysterious. But he was never frightened, not at all. For I must tell you that in all his dreams of the sea, he had never before found himself in the company of other sea lions. This night there were many, round about him, diving and turning, spinning and twirling. They were playing.

Oh, how he hated to wake from that wonderful dream. The tears running down his face were the first wet thing he had felt in three weeks. But he did not pause even to wipe them away, he did not pause, in fact, for anything at all. He set his face to the east, and began to walk the best a sea lion can.

“Where are you going?” asked the tortoise.

“I am going to find the sea!”

Safety Dance

stephencarter  —  July 31, 2015 — Leave a comment

“Safety Dance”
‘The truth is I don’t trust people with my heart, my life, or my future.’ This, in so many words, sums up what we might be saying to ourselves or offering to others. Our reason to do this is to get ahead, to keep from getting hurt, disappointed, or even being known. We build simple or elaborate masks, personalities, or a facade to keep us safe. 
The Dance might have many different “moves” or just one. We dance because we are designed to be emotionally close to people, but we all have been hurt, so we move in and around people in a social exchange. At some point in our life, our currency, our true selves, was not enough or accepted…more was needed or required. Masks and protective personalities are adopted to achieve the desired goal…
This is a short list of how we might gain success, by choosing a “dance”, a strategy, of being somebody different. Do you recognize any of these: THE HERO, THE PLEASER, THE CRITIC, THE HARDWORKER, THE DOORMAT, THE PERFECTIONIST, THE OVER-ACHIEVER, THE WALL…”I’M OK”, (in) CONTROL, or INVISIBLE. These “DANCES” create space, separation, and protection from being harmed, criticized, and being known. Because of these disguises, we reach a certain level of success. Declaring, “It worked!” Often there is a turning point where the disguise doesn’t work or that it will plateau. The change happens when our adopted self is working against who we really are. We are now rowing against the tide, the ocean, of our true self. It is exhausting working against something as big as the ocean, so we just settle for something less than being authentic. We were not created like a salmon, sleek, slippery, and strong. They are made to move against the strongest flows of water. They were made to swim in the ocean, follow the currents, and jump over water falls. 
Authenticity- Who are you?
Are you swimming in the ocean, against the current? What will be your next move?
No…”I’m OK” or do You want something different? Something More?

What makes makes man successful, is the ability for man to adapt and change.
Our great downfall is when the tools and abilities that have created success, no longer achieve the desired results. When we don’t see the slow down or crash, we are stuck. Our blind spots have become disabling liabilities.
At what point do we live beyond our control or other blind spots?
If I believe, then I will empower.
If I control, my belief is nothing good happens without me.
The fear is if I don’t control, I will be left behind, fail, not receive reward.
What can you do to elevate you, your team, or your company?
Do you see it?
The mirror you need will provide enough information so you can develop a plan of action. Coaching is a mirror that draws on the expertise that you have to move you, your team, and your company around the self inflicted obstacles that now fill the landscape that successes have created.

Transformed vs. Conformed.

Butterfly vs. Horse.

Something completely new vs. Something bridled, broken.

Freedom vs. Boxed in, controlled, inhibited.

Authentic vs. Masked, Hidden, Burdened.

Life vs. Dead.


How do we judge the moments in our life? Do you dismiss opportunities to be yourselves. We can not become who we are, by going it alone. We need others to look and speak into our life and ours into theirs. Will you start the transforming journey? When? Cost is measured in time…each day, week, year is costing you, your loved ones, the world…the free, authentic and alive you.